confused

Con-juiced?

What do you do when a loved one is in agonizing pain and you can't be there with them? You can empathize, do everything that is possible and reach out. You can feel their pain . But still, the misery of your helplessness hurts. The best you can do is to pray for them. There is immense power in prayer. Most times, faith pays off.

go g(r)eek

OpiNION

A irrational bulb!

Denial

There is so much to learn in life. Everyday is a new experience. Some questions will badger you forever, there will be epiphanies and there will be late realizations. Nevertheless , one keeps learning. Introversion is both good and bad. What irritates me most is when I see my own traits in others. Quite ironical. Why is it that we are such hypocrites then?. Why is it that what we do is acceptable, but when others point it out or defer our actions or even act the same, it isn't? I think I know the answer….it has got to do with denial. But unfortunately, we are in denial of denial. Most times, self preservation blinds us.

Children of heaven

Today's kids are being raised in a world which is replete with information. The peer pressure is immense, there is a information overload and the world is not a safe place anymore.

I (we) grew up in environs which were radically different. The streets and playgrounds were safe, TV was only for Sunday mornings , cricket, hide-n-seek and marbles the order of the summer holidays and video games were non-existent. We had so much physical exercise just by enjoying ourselves.

But today's kids are under tremendous pressure to perform. When I grew up, there was more parental pressure than peer-pressure; competition was more intellectual than materialistic. Today, every kid is smart. They have to be and parents make sure their kid doesn't lose the rat -race so as not to lose face.

It is hard for kids to stay grounded now. They are innocent, but not childlike anymore. TV, a hectic lifestyle and a suddenly-burgeoning economy are to blame.

I hope that we realize that the most deadly of all possible sins is the mutilation of a child's spirit.

The men in Blue

A blue day for Indian cricket. India loses to the minnows in world test-cricket playing nations. A lot of furor over India's losses. India is knocked out of the World Cup. So what's the Big deal? I am glad that India lost. Not because I am not a Indian fan, but precisely because I am one.

The Indian team plays a ridiculous amount of cricket every year and I am scared for the health of the players. At least, with this loss, the team gets a month off from cricket and can possibly regroup. I feel sorry for the players. They are not entirely to be blamed for the loss. If there is anyone who is to be blamed , it is the BCCI. These guys, for obvious monetary gain, schedule an impossible number of matches every year, leading to player burnout. It is foolhardy for us to expect them to win every match they play. As a stark contrast, Australia, the world champions, play a few matches every year and still, the team was complaining about too much cricket being played.

The Indian team is under too much pressure to perform. I think the joy of playing a game is lost when there is a billion hopes resting on victory . The fans are to blame partially. I guess, we are a bipolar nation, vacillating between adulating and denigrating our apotheosized Cricket Gods relentlessly. Why can't we be forgiving of our heroes and realize that cricket is only a game and that the players are only Human?

I guess the time has come for the BCCI to realize that India's domestic cricket needs strengthening . They need to cut down, drastically, the amount of cricket India plays and invest the world's-biggest-team-brand's money in domestic cricket's infrastructure.

We as a cricket crazy nation need to realize that the more forgiving we are and the more realistic our expectations are, the better it is for both sides.

Quite antithetically, All play and no work makes Jack a dull boy.

A KJ

Karan Johar's next venture; A take on Bisexuality in Bollywood?

Kkabhii Pussy kabhee Bum

PJ

Why do men always do the vacuuming?

Ans) They love Blow jobs!

Faith

What does having faith in someone or something mean?

Faith is my sanctum. It is my immunity against pessimism. It gives me strength and courage to face life.

I have immense faith in two things. God first ,and me second. The reasons are obvious.

I believe in God and not in a God. God to me is someone omnipotent and sagacious. His presence is ubiquitous. I believe that whatever happens is for the good. God then, is an entity who takes control of our lives by orchestrating events whose wisdom we might realize in the due course of our lives. If we scrutinize our actions and start looking at life holistically, not in bits and pieces, we will see that meaningful coincidences exist; that each event had some significance in weaving the fabric of our lives.

We are a function of our actions. Our actions are a function of either an external stimulus or our habits. How we react to a situation is entirely dependent on us and so are our habits. I cannot control how others behave, and to some extent, circumstance. So when I am not a function of circumstance and the onus of a response is entirely on me, I have no other option but to have faith in myself. To make things simple, in the realm of life where I have the power of veering its course, I ought to be the oarsman.

Coming back to the question I asked earlier. I guess all of us have faith in something. Be it a shrine or an idol or a spirit. Faith can be thought of in various contexts, the most common being religion. But I am not delving into that. I am also not talking about having faith in someone. That is a function of our naiveté or our intuition.

I am thinking about faith in terms of hope.

An optimism which keeps us sane and propels our lives.

A lifebuoy that helps you stay afloat.

Whenever something goes wrong, and sometimes bad times are protracted, it is my faith in God, and to an extent in me, that has helped me overcome them. It is not that I would pray that my troubles get over with or that I will wallow in self-pity, hoping that things will become alright. To me, that takes away time from actually trying to get on with life. It makes sense to dwell on a solution and not the problem itself. Dwelling on factuality does not change the fact itself. You simply believe that good times will come and work towards realizing them.

Faith then is an attitude. It is a frame of mind. It is an innate belief that things will go our way sooner or later. From my experience I can say that most tasks I have encountered believing they can be done, have been accomplished. When you approach something with negativity, it is never done. Pessimism is a positive feedback. You go into something believing it cannot be done, you don’t do it and it reinforces your faith that it couldn’t be done in the first place. Instead if you’d have gone into it wholeheartedly and gave it your best shot, you’d at least have had the satisfaction of being true to yourself. Not rocket science, is it? I relate the antithetical attitude to this scenario with faith.

Optimism is a strong buttress to life. It is, to me, the quintessence of a happy soul.

Ramblings

I sit here staring at the screen, trying to think about something to write. I can think of nothing. Nothing at all. I’ve collected a few ideas but I cannot gather enough thoughts to produce a decent chunk of writing. I guess I have blogger’s block. A strange ailment. Writer’s block is a serious issue because the writer’s livelihood most probably depends on it. In the case of a blog, I want to write, but I can’t think of what to blog about. A suggestion I give myself is ‘write about something you feel strongly’. Unfortunately I only feel the ground strongly beneath me. I am no geologist to comment about it now, am I? Jokes apart, really, there is not much I feel strongly about. I am laid back. It is something I’ve gotten from being a Hyderabadi. But coming back to feeling strongly about things. I cannot understand or rather cannot identify with people who take stands on various mundane things in life. I simply cannot. It sometimes scares me. But what does taking stances actually imply? To me it indicates that a person is very set in their ways, highly opinionated and plastic in thought. Being extremely laid back is not good either. You will literally get laid. Be used as a doormat. So does being ambivalent mean you are someone who is unreliable because they can change their mind? I don’t think so. It means you are a rational person who is willing to listen to others and evaluate their point of view before taking a stand. So what is it that I am getting at? I don’t know. These are random thoughts I am typing out as I watch CSI on TV. A pathetic show, I must say. But I will not argue with you if you said you liked it. In the last two weeks India lost all their ODIs to SA. A pathetic show they put up. I wonder how tired Dravid must be from repeating all the lies like ‘we had a lot to learn from this game’ or ‘there were a number of positives we can take from this game’ et al. What a bunch of bullshit. Poor guy can’t even say that none of his boys have the fire in the belly to go out there and fight for a victory. He simply cannot. Greg Chappel’s made the entire team into some kind of a corporate set up. For God’s sake Greg! It is a game and it has to be played like one. You are making it monkey business. But I have a lot of faith in the men in blue. Salvation lies in breaking the Dravid- Chappell combination. Great mind thinks alike and that is precisely why they need to be separated. Because it leads to a stagnation of thought. I don’t think anyone apart from Sachin, Kumble and Dravid even follow the coach’s ideas. It is here that someone needs to take a stand!

On a musical note, the music of Guru rocks. Waah Guru Waah. ARR rocks. Jaage Hain and Barso Re reflect his pure genius. He finally uses Shreya Ghoshal : emphatically. Her voice modulations are fantastic. Jaage hain is sheer genius. Starting off with chitra’s crystal clear voice, the song goes through 4 octaves. As is his wont, ARR sings the best songs himself. He has a slight nasal tone in this album, which adds to the rustic feel of the period film. Maan gaye Guru.

I watched stranger than fiction. It was a very nice movie. A good story line, a subdued Will Farrell ,and fine acting make it a good watch. I have decided to buy the DVD of this film. That’s how much I liked it.

I worked all weekend. Rather , I spent time in the lab helping others out. I worked because I am going on vacation later this month and frankly, I was getting bored at home.

I have a tendon injury and can’t run for a few days. That’s really frustrating. And now I am running out of ideas to write about. There is a mental sluggishness arising from a lack of exercise.

I am reading 4 books now. (multitasking is one of my assets).

Tuesdays with Morrie : overrated

Life of Pi: Brilliant

100 years of solitude: Good but an awesome soporific

Talk to the hand: Rubbish, incoherent blabber.

That’s my spiel, my ramblings about the last few days.

It is now time for me to hit the sack. A new week is about to begin.

Mystery solved

Q)What came first, the hen or the egg?

Ans ) Neither. The Rooster had to come first!!

Take this

Some people say I am very funny
Yet others say I am punny
Doesn’t being the latter make you the former?
Duh! People have no idea about humor.

Some find my comments too caustic
I agree. I am sarcastic.
But since the brain’s plastic
And if u can’t take it, please adjust your elastic.

They say I am obsessed with myself
“He can’t stop talking about Himself”
Call it what you want, narcissism or conceit
I don’t give a rat’s ass about your bleat.

They say I’m too arrogant
Idiots. They are plain ignorant.
I am not self-effacing or a personification of comeliness
And it really shouldn’t be any of your effing business.

Others still find me to be awesome
That’s because (duh!) I am pretty winsome.
And if I don’t end and continue to make this blog to be more noisome
It definitely ain’t gonna make me achieve stardom!

Angrez chale gaye...

It is hard to believe that I no longer think in my mother tongue. It’s been a long time since I’ve thought in Hindi. My thoughts are always in English. I sometimes keep looking for English analogues of Hindi words. It’s that ingrained now. Angrez chale gaye, angrezi chod gaye. Saale. Although I’m comfortable speaking three languages, since I am living in the USA , English dominates the day’s vocals. But what is amazing is that when I speak to friends from home or Indians here, I switch effortlessly and inadvertently between Hindi, English and Telugu. Our brain’s are marvelous polyglots. What do I call it? Hintel (like the super-processor Intel) or Tinglish (ouch! That combo hurt…O.U days!) or shinglish?( Yeah, that really hurt…the ears). Never mind. That’s digressing too much.

I am simply amazed at how much the language has pervaded our lives. We talk and think in English, all the literature we read is in English ( Oh come on guys, how many have you actually read Malayalam [ a palindrome,incidentally] or Urdu or whateverurMTis novels or newspapers etc? ) , puzzles we solve are in English ( yeah, not math puzzles, but we still use the 1s 2s etc and not numbers in our vernacular) , blogs we read are in English etc. We even pun in English.

I personally think I articulate better in English because my vocabulary of any other language is not as extensive. Although that is hard for firangs to believe. I have been complemented by people on my good English speaking skills. Hah!. I am surprised to see people (whose native language is English) surprised when foreigners speak and understand the language better than them. If there is anything that is shocking is the way the firings murder Indian names. Poor Dixits. I guess I would be shocked too if I heard George Bush beat Vaajpaaye at a Hindi elocution contest but that’s not going to happen. Not in eternity. But since English is a universal language (the Brits left no stone unturned, you see) why is it surprising that we speak the language better than most other people? It has all got to do with adapting to the new and alien. No wonder we are the largest ethnic group of immigrunts! And of course our intellectual superiority (think of Aryabhatta and not Mohammed Bin Tughlaq) helps us. Where we falter is that we get a unique accent in the picture. The other day my friend was talking about watching a Gujrati Rape video in public. I was appalled. He meant a Gujrati RAP song! At the grocery store, the Mallu owner did not understand I wanted honey until I told him HEN-NEY. (No guys, he was not cocky and definitely not a pheno menon) and then Chicago becomes chi (as is chit) cago.

But I guess denizens of vitreous edifices must not hurl petrous projectiles at others. So I will terminate the blog. Fancy English! Supererogatory, lagniappe. I know.

( Aashcharyajanak baat yeh hain ki hum gaali avashya hindi mein dete hain )

Guess who?

Life’s a drone
And my best friend doesn’t answer her phone!
Where art thou, (talking to the recorded voice)
I ask in an exasperated tone.
And suddenly I reflect upon the fact
That how much we’ve grown
Since 4 years ago, the seeds of friendship had been sown.
(There were three of us, actually, like a trikone)

She is bubbly, vivacious and confident
But at times, a little adamant
her laughter is infectious
No wonder her fervor is contagious!
She is also very persevering
A quality which, as a researcher, makes her very endearing

I admire her outlook towards life
A no-nonsense, take it as it comes approach and no strife.
Her anger is ephemeral
As much as she is spiritual.
Very straight forward and looks you in the eye
Her warmth very comforting; and I know she will never leave me high and dry.

Oh well no one is perfect
She has what one would call in singular, a defect!
She does get impulsive
But that does not make her repulsive!!
On the contrary, it is her ruthlessness and clinical approach to things
That has led her to bigger and better winnings.

Of all her qualities that are Laudable
It is her Assertiveness that is indispensable.
Her Vivaciousness has already been alluded to
Exuberance and EQ almost complete the milieu.
Oh! I forgot Trustworthy and probably naïve at times
I thank God for our Adorable friendship and hope that this rhymes!

M(y)usings

Life is about:

Realizing that pain and hurt are natural and we take our own time to heal.

Realizing that there is no shame in crying or being expressive about our emotions.

Realizing that the adage ‘no gain without pain’ is just that; an adage.

Realizing that inspite of your goodness, people will remain selfish, but you have to remain good.

Realizing that appreciation is important but you don’t stop doing things in its absence.

Realizing that a good friend is incomparable to any other asset.

Realizing that family are the people who will care for you inspite of your true self.

Realizing that being one’s own critic is great, but not overdoing it is vital.

Realizing that being a good listener is great but to find someone who will listen to you is a greater need.

Realizing that people will, being egocentric, not think twice before hurting you and discredit all your sacrifices. But we have to be forgiving and move on.

Realizing that the voice of your closest friend might not always cheer you up but will definitely assure you.

Realizing that your best friend might hurt you, unwittingly, but has your best interests at heart and will never hesitate to give you a piece of their mind

Realizing that trusting others is nice, but being prepared for a breach is our responsibility

Realizing that blindly supporting a loved one is a confidence booster, but also fosters mistrust

Realizing that good times exist solely because we’ve experienced bad times. It is important to cherish the good days and battle the bad ones.

Realizing that one’s values are not invaluable to others. It is up to us to honor them and protect them

Realizing that asking questions is the best way to learn.

Realizing that everything comes a full circle

Realizing that every small action counts

Realizing that you don’t always get what you want. There is something bigger than wanting and that is giving; selflessly

Realizing that feeling happy is totally up to us and that success is just a frame of mind

Realizing that catharsis is important. (through blogging?)

Questions, Multifarious

Where are we, human beings as a race, heading to? Agree with me or not, all of us are solipsistic. Perhaps not in all walks of life, but many facets of our existence subscribe to our solipsistic outlook. Humans have the sharpest cognitive faculty on earth. We are, in essence, the supreme animals of the planet. But what good has this evolution done to us? We (people who are reading this blog) strive to live a decent life. We are so absorbed in our pursuits in life that have we ever wondered why we are doing what we are doing. Intellectual gratification, one might say. So what? We achieve our present goals, and then what? We’ll have newer responsibilities and newer goals. How long will this go on? What is the end result of this? I had a wonderful family re-union last week. I yearn for those times now. So why did I leave my home in the first place? Why do we have to lead a life which prevents us from living as nature intended us to? In order to enjoy the good times, you need to have bad times and to relax, you need to be stressed, one will say. Why do we even need to be hedonistic in the first place?

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.?

What I fail to understand is that where are our intellectual pursuits leading us to. Weren’t we meant to live gregariously? This whole advent of technology, a outcome of our brilliant minds, has only succeeded in alienating us. Do I really need e-mail or orkut or IM to stay in touch with someone? All day long we work assiduously only to be yearning for the weekends. And when the weekend arrives, we complain about how TV is so boring and how expensive the cinemas are and how no good movies are being made. Why do we need to always keep doing something? Why is it so difficult to give oneself company or to seek company of others? Why do so many social barriers, taboos and stigmas arise? The whole issue of solipsism and intellectual superiority comes into picture here. Have you ever wondered how animals live their lives? They have only two basic instincts: procreation and survival. And yeah they are dumb right? So what? I think animals are much happier. I’ve never seen them take medication for depression or brood over boring TV or downed servers or internet non-connectivity. What good are we to this earth when we are only destroying the ecosystem, breeding all over the place and usurping other species’ habitats and driving them to extinction? Is our being extant so important when we are only distancing ourselves from each other?

So are we a function of our cognitive acumen or masters of our own minds? I think we are intellectually damned. Please don’t mistake me. I love what I am doing. But I keep wondering about one thing. Why. The reason for our existence has been pondered since eons. That is not what I am interested in nor am I wasting time worrying about it. We are here and so what about it? Did nature intend that we decimate its secrets? I guess not. But still, what after we do that? Will we, being omnipotent, fight amongst ourselves and drive ourselves to extinction? By becoming immortal, what will we pursue next?

It all comes back to running in circles. What goes round will come around. Sang-froid. Cacophony. A vicious circle then, my nihilism.

Re-verse

I’m as old as a log,
And I guess I need to add some spice to my blog.
Not that this style will stick,
Cos I don’t want people not to click.
But anyways, getting to the point,
(I hope this is not a pain in the joint).
I had one of the most awesome birthday’s ever,
Thanks to a few people, friends, family and lovely weather.
Talking of family, my sister was here and so were my uncle and aunt
Making the day special. And including me and her, all of us Bon vivant.
But the icing on the cake (I cut a organic, carrot cake),
Was this cute little babe (and incidentally, our legs we did shake!).
We had a so much fun going tipsy,
Drinking wine surreptitiously.
Just having her around was so sweet (a)
Viva…. La vi(s)ta!!!
Well the previous two lines are specific to the Atlanta topography
So don’t try and break your head over non-existent cryptography!
So in -toto, this was the best b-day ever with drink, dance, gifts and phone calls galore,
With numerous phone calls and people visiting from Argonne and Bangalore!
Alright, alright .Ugh. I will end this verse,
Before I go from the sublime to the worse.

A hasty blog

I’m so happy right now. I had the most fantastic conversation with one of my closest friends. And I am meeting her in 15 hours! Can’t wait for that to happen. And what’s more…I’m gonna meet my sister too! Spending my birthday with people I care about the most is the best thing that has happened to me since I’ve been away from home.

I’m too excited to blog I guess. Can’t wait for 5 am.

Del(h)i

My friend was reporting to the supervisor (a desi) on his first day at work in a food-court.

Supervisor: Do you know deli?. ( Well !)
My friend: No. I am from Gujrat. Ahmedabad.

On par: Don

I watched Don. Finally. What a movie!! SRK rocks. Agreed, the plot has a few fallacies and that the entire Jasjit sequence could be done without and that Karreina was inadequate in comparison with Helen and that the choreography lacked imagination and rhythm and that SRK hams as Vijay and that Om Puri is wasted. Agreed. But all of it con’don’ed. For two reasons: SRK and Farhan’s style. SRK as Don is fantastic and Farhan’s attention to detail and story telling are fantastic. FA tackles the Indian censor and SRKs smoking habits very ingeniously. (You gotta watch it guys). The story is very different from the old Don and frankly, it is unwise to compare the two versions. Don’t do it. Amitabh’s portrayal was a revelation in those times. SRKs portrayal of Don is very different and accordingly apt. The twists in the plot are quite good too. We all have to remember that this is just an adaptation of the older version. That movie was very slick, anachronistic, and had characters which were very unorthodox for Indian cinema. Don 2 is pretty unorthodox too for several reasons too: it is a smart commercial film; the attention to detail (Don having manicured nails and Vijay having callused hands etc) is immaculate; not much sentiment; apt use of technology and not an overdose of it; clean, subtle humor et al, unlike most commercial Hindi cinema.

The Donnas in the movie are ok too. If all of us are fed up of SRKs hamming as a lover boy a’don’is, lets par’don’ him. He is phenomenal in portraying negative characters. So I recommend you guys to watch it. Probably at the risk of being hedonistic.

I toast some char’don’nay to don.